May 2013
royal-high:
a kid from my school just got expelled today for pretending to be russian for 8 months. he pretended he couldn’t read, write or talk english he did good in all his classes because he had all the teachers and principles convinced he just moved from russia, so they didn’t make him do any work
stylinsmut:
the first smut i ever read was about a girl listening to these people having sex in a bathroom stall and when they were done she snuck in and it was like “she saw semen all over the floor and bent over to pick one up”
she picked up a sperm
just one
Blarg!
1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?
2. You talked to an ex today, correct?
3. Have you taken someones virginity?
4. Is trust a big issue for you?
5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently?
6. What are you excited for?
7. What happened tonight?
8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted?
9. Is confidence cute?
10. What is the last beverage you had?
11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust?
12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans?
13. What are you gonna do Saturday night?
14. What are you going to spend money on next?
15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed?
16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months?
17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?
18. The last time you felt broken?
19. Have you had sex today?
20. Are you starting to realize anything?
21. Are you in a good mood?
22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks?
23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s?
24. What do you want right this second?
25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?
26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color?
27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?
28. What was the last thing that made you laugh?
29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now?
30. Does everyone deserve a second chance?
31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to?
32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do?
33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda?
34. Listening to?
35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore?
36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is?
37. Do you believe in love at first sight?
38. Who did you last call?
39. Who was the last person you danced with?
40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed?
41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake?
42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today?
43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?
44. Do you tan in the nude?
45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss?
46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night?
47. Who was the last person to call you?
48. Do you sing in the shower?
49. Do you dance in the car?
50. Ever used a bow and arrow?
51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?
52. Do you think musicals are cheesy?
53. Is Christmas stressful?
54. Ever eat a pierogi?
55. Favorite type of fruit pie?
56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?
57. Do you believe in ghosts?
58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?
59. Take a vitamin daily?
60. Wear slippers?
61. Wear a bath robe?
62. What do you wear to bed?
63. First concert?
64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?
65. Nike or Adidas?
66. Cheetos Or Fritos?
67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?
68. Favorite Taylor Swift song?
69. Ever take dance lessons?
70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?
71. Can you curl your tongue?
72. Ever won a spelling bee?
73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy?
74. What is your favorite book?
75. Do you study better with or without music?
76. Regularly burn incense?
77. Ever been in love?
78. Who would you like to see in concert?
79. What was the last concert you saw?
80. Hot tea or cold tea?
81. Tea or coffee?
82. Favorite type of cookie?
83. Can you swim well?
84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?
85. Are you patient?
86. DJ or band, at a wedding?
87. Ever won a contest?
88. Ever have plastic surgery?
89. Which are better black or green olives?
90. Opinions on sex before marriage?
91. Best room for a fireplace?
92. Do you want to get married?
kakyoinisdead:
if you ever meet me in real life i am so sorry
sorry that your whole world will be wrecked once you realize i’m fifty times cooler in person
nippled:
no mom, I can’t make my bed, I’m too busy being a wicked cool bad ass rebel punk also can you make me a grilled cheese
69shadesofgray:
If my jokes offend you:
I’m sorry
It won’t happen again
1 & 2 are lies
You’re a pussy
mileyhighrus:
i could never be a politician because every time it was my turn to talk in a debate it would start off with “listen you fucking prick” like idk how these people don’t do this
the-lonely-scottish-guy:
‘stop being overdramatic’ they say
‘i dont know what you mean’ i say as i descend from the ceiling, surrounded by mist
Did you know that you needed to listen to...
dragonholiday:
[metal voice] OPEN UP THE FUCKING PIT *sprays deodrant*
arollercoasterthatonlygoesup:
if the phantom of the opera has taught me anything it’s that if all else fails you set the place on fire and cry
partybarackisinthehousetonight:
my grandma put a little piece of her birthday cake in the garbage can and i was like why the heck did you do that and she said “it’s important to leave some for the raccoons because what if it’s a raccoon’s birthday and no one remembers??”
dampsandwich:
do NOT say “piss fucker” on the internet. its highly illegal. so illegal that the FBI will show up to your house and ki
iguanamouth:
I KEEP THINKING ABOUT DINOSAUR BONES LIKE SOME OF THEM ARE SO FUCKING BIG YOU KNOW PEOPLE USED TO DIG THOSE UP AND THINK THEY WERE FROM DRAGONS THE LARGEST SKULL EVER FOUND WAS OVER 8 GODDAMN FEET LONG FROM A TOROSAURUS THATS FUCKING INSANE IM SO PUMPED ABOUT THIS I LOV E DINOSAURS LETS GO BURN DOWN THE POST OFFICE
bombliate:
started from the bottom and i am currently still at the bottom
tickettoheaven:
chafing-nipples:
dangermat:
when bananas rot they secrete stuff that makes other fruit including bananas near them rot faster that’s so fucked up that is murder suicide bananas commit murder suicide
that’s pretty fucking metal
I’d say it’s pretty fucking
bananas
